[Creative Nonfiction] Interview with a White Blood Cell

Read the third-place entry for our week of November 2 contest, The Interview.

Interview with a White Blood Cell
By Uma Deodhar

Immune System (IS): Welcome to the Immune System Office. I see on my form that you are a T-Lymphocyte. Sorry you had to sit with the Macrophages. We usually try to categorise the seating areas according to profession.

T-Cell: Oh, that’s alright. I have a friend who works in Phagocytosis so it was nice chatting with them for a bit.

I.S: You’ve just recently graduated, I see. Could you tell me a little about yourself and what your ambitions are?

T-Cell: Yes, I am a Naïve T-cell, currently. I know I haven’t had any real-life experience yet, having just graduated but I have participated in a lot of Infection Simulations. Through these, I found that I am particularly good at analysing Invaders…Sorry I mean Pathogens. I keep forgetting that I need to stop using academic lingo now. Additionally, I took Cytokinese in Uni which has really helped my communication with the B-Lymphocytes.

I.S: That’s very commendable. The Cytokine language is quite difficult. You sound like you’re interested in joining the Helper T-Cell field. Is that what you’ve always been inclined towards?

T-Cell: Ah, not exactly. When I was younger, I thought I might enlist in the Army, like my brother did.

I.S: Right, he’s been serving as a Killer T-Cell for a few years now?

T-Cell: Yes. After getting more exposure in college though, I realised that my strengths fit better with the Helpers. The one profession I ruled out early on was Memory. Their Tests were always scary to me since the candidates were expected to describe features of specific Pathogens in extreme detail.

I.S: Well, I’m glad you actually took the time to figure out what your assets are and where they would be useful. I’ve conducted lectures for young maturing Red and White Blood Cells. Of course at that stage, everyone is obsessed with Cell-f Care and youngsters tend to forget about the big picture. But in the end, it is all about coming together and working as a team. One well-oiled Organ System.

You must have heard that we do have a pretty rigorous training course for Naïve Cells, no matter which department you’re interested in.

T-Cell: Yes, I’m aware. Could you tell me what it entails, though?

IS: For Helper Training, you’re tested on how well and how quickly you’re able to identify Pathogens. It also involves a written and oral Cytokinese exam since we’ll need to see how strong your signals are to the B-lymphocytes. Furthermore, you may be given a Simulated Scenario to see how you cope with handling New Infections that we don’t have data on. Updated protocol after COVID.

T-Cell: I see. I haven’t gone through New Infection Sims before. But that sounds like a fun challenge. I’m dedicated to the cause and I will work very hard, Mr Marrow, if given the opportunity.

I.S: You have a tenacious spirit. I think you’ll make a good addition to the Helper team. We’ll keep in touch.

A Note From Our Guest Judge, Hattie Crisell

This is such an imaginative take on the interview challenge, and a witty way to explore an unexpected topic. I thought the interview format was used to great effect, to reveal information with good pacing and lots of humour. I sense the writer had fun writing it, and I love to see that.

About Uma Deodhar

Uma Deodhar is a 25 year old veterinarian from Mumbai, India. She enjoys writing and singing.

This piece piece was written in response to the prompt The Interview.