[Creative Nonfiction] Nothing Calm about Kama Sutra
Read the third-place entry for our week of December 1, 2024 prompt, One Great Paragraph, chosen by guest judge Michael Dean
Nothing Calm about Kama Sutra
by Andrea Green
Last night, as I lay on my back bloated, naked, and menstruating, my husband was batting his erection against my thigh. If it was a new move, it wasn’t exactly working. Puzzled, I asked him what he was doing, and he explained that he was just getting rid of a blood clot by wiping it on my leg. “Before it goes up my urethra” he said. And for some reason, the way he said it (with concentration) and the way he was so very serious, made me cackle uncontrollably. I laughed extra hard because I was particularly hormonal, and messy period sex is one of my favourite things ever—that wonderful time of month when I swing wildly from euphoria to despair all while feeling so damned aroused for my husband. But also, sex in general is very funny to me. I don’t think I’ll ever find sex un-funny. The whole reason why I have to close my eyes when we copulate is because, if I open my eyes and see my gorgeous hunk of a husband furiously pumping me full of pleasure, I burst into crazed laughter which makes him laugh, and then we’re both laughing and the whole thing is ruined in the best possible way. Afterwards he wipes the tears off my cheeks, and I have to tilt my head to either side because the tears have dripped into my ears. We both have to take several deep breaths—sexercise and laughing are strenuous, and both make me ache, but in different places—and then we’re back at it again. It’s glorious and it’s hilarious.
A Note From Our Guest Judge,
It was fun to read through 96 significantly different paragraphs and think through the shared compositional themes that make them powerful. It was also hard. Each one of these 3 quickly establishes an unresolved scene, gradually unfolds it, and closes with power. There were so many creative and intriguing entries that would make great openers. I hope to see some of these expanded into full essays.
About Andrea Green
Andrea Green is an emerging writer based in Queensland, Australia. Andrea is currently completing a Master of Creative Writing and enjoys trying her hand at different styles and genres of writing. When she is not working, studying, or crafting stories, Andrea is kept busy with her online writing group, a tall stack of library books, and her cat who takes every opportunity to create chaos.
This piece was written in response to the prompt One Great Paragraph.